


Tea Cups Are Not Valid Measuring Cups

by TheSilenceIsKillingMe (TheVoice21)



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: And loves his family, Baking, Christams 2020, Dick can bake, Discord: Widdlewed's Roasted Server Batfam Christmas Event, Fluff, Gen, Tim just wants his Tea, no beta we die like jason, this is such a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28287309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVoice21/pseuds/TheSilenceIsKillingMe
Summary: Prompt:A: Look it said two cups! Now I did not know whether it meant a cup that is the size of my coffee cup or a cup the size of C’s Coffee cup, so I put in one of mine and one of C’s!B: When in doubt use the smaller cup!A: I didn’t know! It is not my fault!C: No it is mine for trusting either of you in the kitchen.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Dick Grayson, Stephanie Brown & Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Comments: 8
Kudos: 67
Collections: Roasted Server's Christmas Fic collection





	Tea Cups Are Not Valid Measuring Cups

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Widdleweds_Roasted_Christmas_Fic_Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Widdleweds_Roasted_Christmas_Fic_Collection) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> A: Look it said two cups! Now I did not know whether it meant a cup that is the size of my coffee cup or a cup the size of C’s Coffee cup, so I put in one of mine and one of C’s!  
> B: When in doubt use the smaller cup!  
> A: I didn’t know! It is not my fault!  
> C: No it is mine for trusting either of you in the kitchen.

Tim had made many mistakes in his admittedly short life. He had left the lights on when he left his apartment numerous times, he had accidentally hit Bruce over the head with his bo-staff, he had even, once upon a time, seen a small, abandoned, and helpless kitten in need of loving in a dirty alleyway, only to step on its tail and force it to scamper away.

Tim, however, had made the greatest mistake of them all.

_ Allowing Stephanie to bake a cake for Damian. _

Stephanie had suffered a whole rant from Bruce about how she needed to make more of an effort with Damian and a great way to start was to encourage Damian's eating habits, and 'surely baking a vegan cake is the most logical way to do so Steph!'

Tim had thought the idea humorous and foolishly encouraged Bruce. Stephanie was a  _ pro _ at cooking healthy and edible food on little resources available, cooking vegan food should come second nature.

Only Tim had forgotten that this was not in fact cooking but rather baking. Stephanie could not bake for the life of her and had set boiling water on fire when attempting to bake a cake for Tim’s birthday last year. Tim didn’t even know boiling water was part of baking a cake.

Tim had carelessly forgotten her misgivings in baking and encouraged Stephanie to bake, the greatest mistake a person could make.

  
  
  


Tim honestly couldn't understand how baking the cake had ended like this. The kitchen was a wreck, dirty baking utensils were strewn about the place, flour covering most of the counter space and a fair amount of floor space and with what Tim could only assume was batter dripping from the hanging ceiling light. It was a very nice ceiling light too, industrial steel, far more durable than the dainty half chandelier there previously. Tim mourned the ceiling light.

If only the cake itself were redeemable. The frosting was immaculate, only it was a sickly green colour and sliding sideways as the cake was tilting at a hard thirty-degree angle. The icing on the sides was sloppy and dripping, mixing with what appeared to be uncooked batter at the bottom of the plate. Tim wasn’t going to let that cake within ten inches of him, it’s toxicity would surely kill him.

“ _ How _ ,” Tim took a deep breath, “do you mess up baking a cake  _ this  _ badly?”

Stephanie stood in the middle of the disaster, a half-forgotten mixing bowl clutched loosely in her hand, it’s contents left to drip to the floor. Her face was powdery white from the layer of flour coating her body. Apparently half-way through she’d roped in Jason as he stood at her side, attempting to save the batter, equally covered head-to-toe in flour.

“ Look,” Stephanie started in a placating manner as if she could say anything to justify the disaster that was the kitchen, “it said two cups! Now I did not know whether it meant a cup that is the size of  _ my _ coffee cup or a cup the size of  _ your _ coffee cup, so I put in one of mine and one of yours!”

Tim thought for a moment if his custom made, ultra-large  _ tea _ mug could even be  _ considered _ a baking cup much less a  _ coffee _ cup, only for Jason to interrupt Tim’s musings.

“When in doubt use the smaller cup! Always the smaller cup!” Jason looked just a few seconds away from throttling Stephanie, and Tim couldn’t find it in him to stop future-Jason. 

“I didn’t know!” she argued, “The recipe didn’t say anything like that! It’s not my fault!”

“No, it’s mine for trusting either of you in the kitchen.” Jason baulked.

“Excuse you,  _ I _ was doing just fine, but  _ she _ had to keep and messing stuff up!”

“Uhm no! That is  _ not _ what happened,” Stephanie refuted, “it was clearly you because-”

“Oh don’t try to blame this on me!”

“I’m not blaming you I’m,  _ telling it how it is _ !”

“Stop, just,” Tim sighed, “stop.”

Instead, Jason and Steph continued childishly squabbling. Jason dead-set on defending his baking honour and Steph dead-set on defending her method. Tim was content to just let that at it, only they had used his custom mug for baking and hadn’t cleaned it out yet and Tim wanted his tea.

“Oooh,” Dick’s voice made it’s way into the kitchen as his head appeared around the corner “it looks like a Disney cake!”

“Dickie-bird where the hell do you get ‘Disney’ from this monstrosity?” Stephanie made an indignant noise at Jason’s comment. Everyone ignored her.

“Haven’t you ever seen  _ Sleeping Beauty _ ? A classic.” Dick came closer and examined it before whistling, “You guys sure did a number on this one, way to much sugar, too little flour, did you guys even add almond milk? This literally just looks like water alone. Did you guys even  _ look _ at the recipe?”

Jason gave a pointed look at Stephanie. 

“ _ Of course  _ I did Dick! Who do you take me for?” Jason and Dick replied at the same time.

“An idiot who can’t bake.”

“A smart and capable woman who is occasionally challenged in the culinary arts.”

Tim snorted, Dick really did have a way with words. He could probably tell someone he hated them with such a burning passion that even looking at them disgusted him and the person would be none-the-wiser. Granted Jason too had a way with words, he was just incredibly selective when he used said words.

“Well,  _ Dick _ , if you’re so talented why don’t  _ you _ bake a vegan cake for the little brat, huh?” Tim recalled vaguely that Dick liked to bake, only Tim couldn’t remember if Dick was actually any good at it.

“Nice try there blondie, getting Dickie-bird to do all the dirty work once you’ve already made a mess of things!” Jason said in a teasingly only for Dick to wave him off. It was always amusing to see Dick shut down Jason’s teasing, even if it usually resulted in Jason teasing Dick.

“Nah Jay, we’ll just all work together!” Dick had a glint in his eyes that  _ screamed _ ‘you will work with me or else.’ Tim knew better than to argue with Dick when he got that look, as did Jason and Stephanie. “Okay! Time to clean! Or Alfred will have our hides!”

Tim just wanted tea.

  
  
  


Just over three hours later sat an adorable two-layered vegan cake decorated with a soft, mint coloured and evenly layered frosting. It had taken nearly an hour to just clean the kitchen, much less bake the cake.

Jason looked at it from where he held the piping tube, looking incredibly pleased with his handiwork. Steph sat on the island counter holding a mixing bowl and eating the leftover batter straight out of it. Tim himself was leaning against the island just a few steps to Stephanie’s right, finally able to drink his tea.

The actual work had mostly been done by Dick, with Jason as a close second. Steph had been saddled with all the brunt work while Tim been left to get the correct colours for each layer and the frosting. 

Dick was humming contently to himself as he placed the protective lid over the cake stand. Daj and Dat had always taught him to bake for those he loved, and Dick would be damned if he didn’t bake for his new family.

  
  
  


(Damian came home from being with Jon Kent and Colin Wilkes an hour later, spotted Dick’s handiwork on the cake and immediately helped himself to a slice, completely unaware of Tim’s silent sipping from around the corner. Damian might’ve had everyone else fooled, but Tim saw the faint smile on his face as he ate the cake. 

Tim took another sip and slipped out of the room.)


End file.
